Some Observations About Sydney

  • Sydney has the biggest Ferrero Rocheron a toothpick I’ve ever seen
  • Other nicknames for the Sydney Harbour Bridge: The Dental Work Frown, The Steel Rainbow, Baleen Bridge… I just don’t see a coat-hanger?
  • If Melbourne hasn’t got over 80s nostalgia – Little Golden Books menus, The Never-Ending Story theme song, dark pub irreverence – Sydney just can’t get past the 90s – Ken Done, a Sunkist Ad, banana bread.
  • Sydneysiders actually do keep a keen eye on Melbourne, but when they’ve finally got a food truck of their own, they realise the concept doesn’t quite work in their city, but whatever, just open another Thai restaurant, head down to a beach in winter, she’ll be right.
  • Thai restaurants compete with hairdressers on all high streets – they should just mix business: Hair Thai, Plait Thai, Pad Dye, The Pony Thai’l, Bristle & Gristle, Bob Yum, See Ew in Style, Semi-PERManent Detainment?
  • If you are female and blonde you must wear your hair on top of your head in a bun. No, no, you must– shhh. Bun.
  • If you don’t live near a train line, how’re you getting home? A bus? Hahaha.
  • You can have a ‘harbour view’ and still not be anywhere near a train line.
  • If you drive in Sydney, floor it. Disregard speed limit if you’re on a backstreet, a school zone, sharing with bicycles, about to run down an old lady, disobeying traffic signals… that car park five blocks and a train station away from work won’t wait for you!
  • Why do people even drive in Sydney?
  • Ferry rides are good for the part when you’re on the ferry, but the destinations are either leafy burbs, leafier burbs, leafless islands or Manly. The zoo’s good, but.
  • Triple-decker trains still make me feel like I’m in the future, even though some still have seating from the First Fleet.
  • You must have a ticket for a train, a ticket for a bus, a ticket for a ferry, a ticket for a tram, a ticket for the monorail, a ticket for a car park, a ticket for the bridge, a ticket for the tunnel, you must have a ticket to ride, ticket to ride.
  • Drummoyne is not actually a bogan kid’s name.
  • Clovelly has the most beautiful concrete slab in Australia.
  • The North Shore pays for a view of culture, rather than being anywhere near it. I hear the Gloria Jeans up there are great, though.
  • It’s pronounced “Could-gee” not “Coo-gee” for stupid, unfathomable reasons.
  • Sydneysiders are damp, constantly.
  • You’re not really living in Sydney until you’ve seen under the wing of an Ibis. It’s not pretty.

4 thoughts on “Some Observations About Sydney

  1. all of there are true.

  2. I’ve driven in Sydney – you’re right – why do people drive there!!!! It took me two hours to get 10 kilometres. Love this post 🙂

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